I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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