We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
