brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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