fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I supernannyed him into submission
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
