Already got asked if we're dating
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
