there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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