brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize