Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize