Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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