Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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