All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
