help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I supernannyed him into submission
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
