Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
