Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I touched a dick in church today
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
