Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
