I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
