I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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