Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
