My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
