my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
