She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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