How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
