Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
