My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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