remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
