I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
