Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
