Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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