we're chasing vodka with high fives
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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