he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
