clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
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