Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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