Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
