my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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