Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
