A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
time to smoke my breakfast
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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