we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Randomize
