I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
