Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
