We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
