Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize