just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Help. Why am I so naked?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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