She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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