My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
