She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
