I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize