so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
