I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
