if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I am never drinking with the goths again.
not ubering you a puppy
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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