turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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