News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
