she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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