I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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