Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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