I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
