I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
3 2 1 whiskey
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
