I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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