youre lurking in front of me
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
