So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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