Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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