Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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