i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
